i hate a paper as i'm putting clay onto its frame. i want to smooth and shape features into the clay, bake it and paint it. 


pressing soft flesh into the bony skeleton is so tedious. like clipping nails. or mopping floors. or watching commercials.


yawn.

Pre-Writing

Day 2 of hibernation w/ research paper.

1. I took that 10 min walk Mallie reminded me would energize.
2. Pickedup a large coffee @ Jacob's on the way home.
3. Ate a tuna pita melt to give me loads of brainpower.
4. I'm setting my alarm for 1am, so I know when to call it a day.

Let the games begin.

When A Blog Proposal Turns into A Quantitative Research Project, per your professor's suggestion...

I'm hoping to get a renewed visa today. I'm looking at 10pgs of Excel Spreadsheeted Data, finding gaps in my collection methodology that might prevent me from answering my research Q's, oh yeah - deciding what ARE my research Q's, selecting descriptive statistics analyses to perform on the data this Monday, writing an intro/lit review section & the data collection methodology section, and getting started on Works Cited mayyybe.

Wow, this is scintillating, no? Can I redeem myself from all that mumbo jumbo? I feel like it helps me to track my efforts on here. But wow it's sure beige.

On a side note, when I looked at my alarm clock this morning, I crowed, "Let the War of 812 BEGINNN!" I thought THAT was funny.

:)

I hope you dears are finding a little time to juice your creative fruits this lovely weekend! (In a way that's more sexy than data analysis...)

Namaste.

Prayers = answered

This morning as I woke up, I prayed for 2 things:

1. The seller for the condo we want would agree to our counter offer to THEIR counter offer and we'd be on track to be homeowners
2. Two promising interviews

Around 11am, I got an email from our realtor saying CONGRATULATIONS!! They agreed to our counter.

My fellow NBC News Channel intern and I did our standups (i.e. we stood in a studio and read the part of our news scripts that calls for the reporter in front of the camera) for the news packages we're putting together.

When we were done, I returned to my desk to see an email saying I GOT the video internship I interviewed for... and a voicemail asking for an interview for the public affairs internship I'd applied for. (possible to do both part time)

Wow.

God answers prayer - did you know?

State-Dependent Writers

So I'm like in the zone. Been doing quantitative research every waking moment for the last 3 days. The question of What Will I do with the Data Once it's All Collected haunts me, but I will face that challenge once I've finished assessing the internationalization of all 100 CCCU Christian Colleges in the U.S. Think I'll be sitting at the feet of the SPSS guy at the School of Education. Trying to make sense of numbers.

My stomach is pissed so I can't even drink coffee to keep me going. So I've turned to sugar. Which sucks cuz I crash right quick. Maybe I'll turn to Green Tea like Erin & hope my tummy shows hospitality to the smaller dose of caffeine.

The event that kicked me into high gear was this: On Saturday I presented my former research paper at another academic conference & the director of the International Education Center @ George Mason University asked if they could publish my paper as a chapter in a book she is currently compiling. Her insistence that they have been looking for something exactly like what I had presented was one of Those Moments. I felt like I was dreaming. Trying not to get my hopes up, but the positive feedback fueled me to take this semester's research up a notch. I want it to be as good or better. Oh stomach, why won't you let me drink lattes? I would be so much smarter in my state-dependent writing mode...

Fitting for Easter: Death of a dream before it comes true

You must experience the death of a dream before it comes true. Tasha told me this when we were in college together – she was right.

I decided I wasn’t a good writer my senior year of college… just before I got a piece published in Newsweek’s Budget Travel.

Joe and I nearly broke up after a series of miscommunications… just two months before he traveled home with me for Christmas and had the talk with my dad.

I gave up on buying a home two weeks ago… last night we made an offer on a condo.

This pattern repeats and repeats in my life. In a small way, it repeats yearly with the seasons. I nearly lose all hope in frozen February and part of March, then the sun comes out. Then the buds blossom. Everything seems hopeful.

I was beginning to wonder – no, scratch that. I believed I might not ever get a job in journalism or filmmaking. I love writing. I love filming and editing film. But both fields seem so bleak – opportunities are slim.

Then a cinematographer came to class. I asked how a young filmmaker could get started, and he spent a good three minutes maintaining direct eye contact with me and saying what a great opportunity exists for a female filmmaker – there are so few, and there is demand. The intensity of his gaze shook me: it’s possible!

A week later, applying for every interesting job I could find, I had another vote of confidence. I emailed a professor in my Master’s program who teaches “Zen of Religion Writing” about my application to Religion & Ethics Newsweekly, a public television weekly news show. The professor just so happened to have several of connections on the show – he used to be a correspondent, and he was willing to put in a good word. The catch: he didn’t know me. The compromise: he asked for the emails of professors in the program who did know me.

The next day, I answered my cell phone at NBC to hear the professor’s voice. “I’m mad at you,” he said.

“You’re mad at me?”

“Not really,” he said. “But I heard back from your professors, and I’m wondering why I haven’t seen you in any of my classes?”

I’m sure I blushed. After feeling so down, after questioning my ability to write, after feeling like a failure at the real world (I’m great at being a student), it turns out my professors said great things about me, and they were willing to step out to put in a good word. So much better than a report card.

Tonight I watched Julie & Julia. I related so much to both characters, especially at the beginning of the journey – both restlessly waiting for the inspiration that would express their passion to achieve and create. Supportive husbands prodding along ideas that seem unachievable at times. Julie wondering if anyone would ever read her blog; Julia begging to take her culinary exam. And each dream died – Julia had to leave Paris, and her cookbook got rejected twice. Julie lost her chance to woo a food writer/publisher, had multiple breakdowns and pushed her husband away (temporarily!).

But the end was hopeful. Julia Child is a household name even now, and Julie turned her blog into a book that was made into a movie.

I have an incredibly supportive husband; I have that restless desire to create, to achieve. Here’s hoping my happily-ever-after is as satisfying.

Recap on Nicole & Mallie in March

I had a dream someone posted on this blog. Haha.

So I will post for Nicole & Mallie...

Mallie's professors said THIS about her as she applies for an associate producer position:

   * "Mallie is great.  Organized, engaged, enthusiastic, thoughtful, motivated. Top student. Highly recommend."

   * ".... One of my best students. Her work is consistently professional and on time... Done good reporting legwork for her stories... Good writer... Dedicated, hard worker, collegial... Contributes insightful comments to class discussions... Responds well to feedback from me and classmates.... A thoughtful person, who probes beyond the obvious."

    * "... Delightful...always pleasant, very hard working, success driven and a team player who also takes initiative on her own.  As a video producer, she is naturally skilled and has shown tremendous growth and a real innate understanding of the crafts involved in preproduction, production and post production. She sent me a YouTube link to her recent video work that was really terrific... I thought enough of Mallie to help her get a recent internship at NBC News, where I worked for the past 27 years until retiring in December."

All her hard work & writing finesse are paying off!

Nicole seems to be pursuing lots of photography workshops and group shoots with rockin models. Loving the new skills you are practicing!

I will be presenting my research @ the GWU Int'l Ed Conference this weekend, and am making much progress on my proposed Blog research for class. Not enough, but much. =) The assignment gives me butterflies, so I am putting off all other projects & may pay the consequences. But creative energy trumps A's.

Erin is the mystery child. I have no clue what you are up to! Do tell! AND share your thoughts on Sutro Baths with me!