1am.
I tried going to sleep. I read for a while – Half the Sky, for class, and after just the introduction (“The Girl Effect”), I’m convinced each of you wants to read it. I’m not kidding, find a copy in Borders and read the introduction.
But it didn’t help me sleep. I sneakily cuddled with my sleeping husband… but didn’t doze. Twenty minutes and Joe half woke up; I rolled back to my side.
I can’t believe the insomnia is already here. Fall semester, it came in the final month. It’s now the second week.
Everything changed this month. My routine. My workload. The amount of time I see my husband.
I’m used to working hard, churning out, contributing. But internships are for soaking in. I spent the first freezing day of my internship interviewing marchers for life on the Mall. Kids who were raised believing life starts at fertilization. The Archbishop of St. Louis. College kids shouting, “Your MOM chose life!”
Since then I’ve stuck close to the office, following interesting people, asking leading questions so they’ll pull back the curtain of their jobs and let me learn.
Interesting, yes. Productive, in a way. But I’m going a little crazy. Let me edit this piece on government spending. Let me read the tag into the camera for News Channel 7 On Your Side in Jacksonville (and back to you, Leslie). Let me interview the Director of the Congressional Budget office on camera. Yes, yes, these are way over an intern’s head. But I want a role here. Other than observer.
So, I’m adjusting, as you can see. And I’m watching a lot of TV at work.
But I’m jittery. I can’t sleep. I get annoyed at one of my groupmates in documentary class. I freak out over choosing story topics.
If there’s one thing I should remember from last semester, it’s that everything comes together.
I just can’t see it yet.
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1. thanks for the book recommendation, i added it to my library list.
ReplyDelete2. i am an intern right now too... it's not at a job where i see myself having a career, so it's different, but... i related to that part of your post because a lot of times i feel sort of left out, and like i wish they understood HOW MUCH i could do if they'd let me... and then the rest of the time i want to throw things at my boss for undermining my confidence by micromanaging me. but that's neither here nor there.
3. i relate to the insomnia, too! it's so easy for me to stay asleep, so hard to fall asleep. i wonder if it's because the night is the most interesting time of day. ha.