Good Night, Moon

Ok. So I won that award for Best Masters Level Research Paper. Right?

Well, today (@ the conference where I presented that paper) I also participated in a Case Study Analysis Competition... and won 1st place. My partner & my 30-minute presentation beat out 8 GWU doctoral students who specialized in the topic being addressed in the Case Study. No stinkin' way. I am flabbergasted. This day was such a dream. Being an overachiever has great rewards. I am never going back to Procrasti. This seals it.

Did I mention I won an iPod & a $50 Starbucks card & a $200 3-piece black suit from Express? (I mean, the last 2 prizes were donated by my proud relatives, but still.)

Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings, compatriots.

Thank you for inspiring me to reach for the next rung on the ladder.

Good night, metaphor.

Forging Habits

http://habitforge.com/

Maybe this is something any refugee from procrasti should sign up for.

LOSS

I feel like barfing.  I drank 2 much red wine.

I don't know how to attain motivation/discipline apart from caffeine.  Thoughts?  Maybe an intravenous Ralph Waldo Emerson drip.  Otherwise I'm at a loss.

Doctor's Orders

Feeling sick presents a particular challenge to me. I immediately feel entitled to sulk & watch TV & avoid responsibility because... "I don't feel good." It actually feels like breaking a universal rule to do otherwise - like I'm gonna get sicker if I don't obey the instinct to relax.

This is tough because I need to write a 5pg paper by tonight. And unfortunately it usually takes me an hour a page to write something valid enough to share with a professor - which would add up to 5 HOURS. I'm a turtle. I'm feeling unwell tonight (from lack of sleep & over-socialization), but I NEED to write this paper. And in less than 5 hours, so I can hurry up and get to the sack. All I want to do is veg, but the "I don't feel good" clause doesn't apply when a deadline is imminent. Maybe just a nap?

How do you deal with getting work done when you feel unwell in your bones & muscles & nasal canals?

Shitty Day Good News

1. Congratulations, Natasha!

Your paper "Friends, Foes, or Frenemies: A Comparison of U.S.
Multiculturalism and the Internationalization of Education” was chosen
as the winner of the Sylvia Marotta Best Paper Award in the Masters
Research Paper category. I am including Dr. Marotta's contact
information. Please contact her directly to schedule a time when you
can review your paper prior to ESRI.  You will be presented the award
on Saturday of ESRI (formerly was Friday but we are changing this).

On behalf of Dr. Marotta, the Student Review Panel, and the ESRI
Leadership Team – congratulations!

Brittany

--
Brittany Maschal
Graduate Research Assistant
The George Washington University
Graduate School of Education and Human Development
bmaschal@gwu.edu




2. Professor's note on my Spring 2010 research proposal, Global Citizenship Education in the Christian University:


"Interesting and valuable project. Looking forward to this."


She's not sold on the idea of it being a blog, but I think I can make a convincing argument... We shall see. 


_______________________________________


This was all rewarding news to receive on a day I walked around my office, the DC sidewalks, and my apartment with a pinched expression on my face & bullets shooting from my eyes. A day full of Anger and Gratitude. I may have done the Miss America fanning myself like I was gonna cry, and I may have kicked everything I saw on the sidewalk as though it were a certain person's eye socket. I am nothing if I am not emotions.

In which everything converges

I talked to a friend from my Creative Writing undergrad program anoche.  He is applying for an MFA and has convinced me to pick the idea back up, blow the dust off it, and examine it for worth as a goal.  Goals such as that one motivate me to do what I want to do anyway.  In order to get into a graduate school, I'll want to publish some pieces by the time I apply.  I'll want to have a polished, sharp, articulate writing sample or two to submit for both fiction and nonfiction.  Both of those are things I want to do anyway... so now if I have the goal of MFA in mind, I can do them with purpose, intent, and most importantly, a DEADLINE.

He is only applying to places that have assistantships for all members of the program, which is a great idea.  The reason I sort of discarded the idea of graduate school was the expense and not wanting to go into a lifetime of debt for a Master's.  But there are programs where tuition is paid by you teaching undergrad English classes.  Holla!

I want to learn the harmonica.  (Just like Nicole, coincidentally!)  My mom just unearthed an old wooden one she had in a drawer that probably belonged to my bluegrass uncle.  It's in the key of G.  The other one I have, which is newer and plastic, is in the key of C.  That's exciting to me.  It's exciting that I live in 2010 and I can learn to play the harmonica for free on the internet.  Although I am still checking out library books about it because I am old school.

Allegedly if you play for 10min per day you will learn in a matter of weeks.  Allegedly there is no such thing as a genius who has not practiced her art many, many hours.  No brilliant writer who didn't need to practice to become brilliant. 

Tomorrow night I start a mixed martial arts self-defense class through the community center with my friend Marianne.  She and I have always wanted to take a self-defense class... so we are.  I have always wanted to learn to play the harmonica... so I am.  I have always wanted to be more into visual arts and painting... so I am.  I have always wanted to work at a National or State park... so I'm madly resumeying and finding openings to apply for.  I have always wanted to be a WRITER more than anything in the universe... so I am researching graduate schools and making lists of steps to take to get there.  I AM.

It's Ash Wednesday!  That's where it all converges.  I am going to make a schedule for myself that includes separate, measured time to put toward accomplishing all of my separate goals.  Harmonica, Visual Art, Forestry Work, Writing/MFA.  That's it.  No more drifting.  No more coming home and spending untold amounts of time, ungodly amounts of time, dicking around online.  I might take up yoga while I'm at it.  There's a studio uptown I can afford.  And another goal is to save for a used Subaru Legacy.

My life is going to be clay and I am going to be Demi Moore in Ghost. 

What I'm giving up for Lent: purposeless, unintentioned, drifty living.

They don't have McDonalds here?

Trying to write a query, trying to write a draft of an article, trying to care. But I don't. I have the Apathy infection. And God knows I suck as a writer when I don't care. Is this part of being mildly heartbroken? Or is my creative investing too diversified to actually find meaning in any one experience? Or did all this snow just make me lazy?


It's almost a curse to find so much enjoyment in the creative process, because THEN. When it doesn't feel good. I just want to quit. It's not what I signed up for. I'm such an unprofessional pleasure-seeker. 


But I can't let down the dude I'm writing for. And I have to turn the article into my prof no matter what. All I know to do is listen to the Facebook wisdom of my friend Jake Bowling. But I don't like it. 


"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged [people] who kept on working."


I'll add my aunt Heidi's recent status as well, but I loathe it even more.


"We don't have to want, let alone enjoy, what needs to be done."